Chris on Jesus… and sushi

Chris: crap my sushi tastes weird

Chris: i probably shouldnt be eating this

Chris: If Jesus was a carpenter than how did he teach people to fish?

Chris on destruction

Chris: I am a ravenous bacteria bent on cellular destruction

Me: sweet.

Chris on power naps

Chris: damn

Me: whazzup

Chris: when I walk down hallways I close my eyes and catch a power nap

Me: well done

Chris: i have to pee

Chris gets Random

Chris: i will smite thee evil dragon kind

Me: rarr

Me: what are you doing tonight?

Me: (in the gym)

Chris: old chicks are hot

Chris: bench

Chris: and they have experience

Chris: im gonna go now

Me: ok

Chris: dont take strangers from their candy

Me: good call

Chris on T shirts

Chris: Im going to wear my ‘Satan does missionaries’ t-shirt

Chris: u get it?  Missionary style….and he’s satan so he does the entire missionary instead

Chris: get it?

Chris: lol

Chris: i made it up

Chris: i really dont have that shirt…but I might have to now

Chris on being a cockatoo

Chris: I am a cockatoo in the cage of life

Chris talks in lyrics (I join in)

Chris: what’s love got to do with it?

Me: well, it’s a second hand emotion.

Chris: like a highway that I want to ride

Me: or a steel horse.

Chris: that’s when I see the sign

Me: did it open up your mind?

Chris: it’s electric

Me: da da da da da da da da da

Chris: LMAO

Chris: WE SHOULD SPEAK IN LYRICS MORE OFTEN

Me: SHOUT

Chris: LET IT OUT

Me: all you like about me is the way i walk.

Chris: for I am death

Me: hello.

Chris: my God it’s cold

Me: was it me you’re looking for?

Chris: im freezing

Me: those dont sound like song lyrics

Chris: baby it’s cold outside

Me: i really don’t care.

Chris likes turtles

Chris: I LIKE TURTLES!

Chris: and oatmeal

Chris: and balls

Chris on Heart Health

Chris: im just glad knowing my heart isnt going to explode

Chris: and that I can sleep on my left side without worry I will crush my heart

Me: thats’ comforting i suppose

Chris: yea…im paranoid about crushing my heart

Chris on Women and Men

Chris: i had a thought about women and men.  u know how you have to play  the hand that’s delt, all that crap.  I think this whole time…guys are playing poker…trying to win the woman, but the women, they’re the casino, the house, they hold all the power….we’re all basically scewed as men….we just gotta try and get drunk as much as possible