Chris on Penguins

Chris: man…sometimes I wish a sleigh pulled by flying penguins would come pick me up and take me home

Sancho: yeah… that would be nice

Chris: maybe even provide a snack

Chris: and a hooker

Chris: 3 hookers

Sancho: yeah… what’s not to love about that?

Chris: well if you get little people you’d be pissed

Sancho: yeah.. you’d need to specify that the hookers be attractive, disease-free, female humans… you wouldn’t wanna end up with penguin hookers

Sancho: cuz penguins can be whores

Chris: disease free?

Chris: I’d be more concerned with the little people aspect

Chris: I’m the epitomy of health

Sancho: haha… i dunno.. i think i’d bang a little person hooker because I’d bang a big person hooker with AIDS

Chris: oh…I thought you meant like the clap

Chris: yea Aids would be bad…bring on the midgets

Chris: lucky for us the odds of getting one is low let alone 3

Sancho: I wish we could use the phrase “bring on the midgets” more often in our daily lives

Chris: it rather does fill one with a sense of excitement

Chris: like something out of the ordinary is about to occur

Chris: comin home…bring on the midgets

Sancho: word

Chris has random thoughts mid conversation (12)

Chris: so do you think trains of thoughts have a caboose?

Chris: like an after thought

Chris: what a weird word…CA..BOOSE

Chris: lol

Chris on Vampires

Chris: we should get vespas

Chris: I could totally see us trying to kick each other off of them

Me: might be fun with padding

Chris: dont be a girl

Chris: road rash rocks

Chris: chicks dig it

Me: no thanks

Me: i’m pretty. need to keep it that way

Chris: waaaa…my knee is scraped…..waaaaaaaahhhh

Chris: you’re pretty? that

Chris: that’s a pretty feminine term

Me: i can’t help what i am.

Chris: Vampires are pretty

Chris: maybe you’re a vampire

Me: perhaps

Me: maybe thats why i’m nocturnal

Chris: man I’d love to be a vampire

Chris on Sexual Ambiguity

Me: hey man

Chris: not today

Me: ?

Chris: I’m a woman

Me: oh

Me: ok

Chris: I get to pee sitting down today

Chris: women are lazy

Chris: sitting down to pee

Chris on Airsoft Guns

Chris: if I was a criminal I would paint the end of my gun orange so cops would think it was a pellet/ airsoft gun. You’d think criminals would be so smart.

Me: lol

Me: you could be the airsoft bandit

Chris: im smart

Chris has random thoughts mid conversation (11)

Chris: Im the ruler of the cosmos

Chris: I call it

Chris: dont be invading my cosmos

Chris has random thoughts mid conversation (10)

Chris: it just dawned on me

Chris: most anyone that commits a crime, murders, steals, gang banging, selling drugs, cheating on taxes…etc. Pretty much 99% are Christian or religious…….makes you wonder…how much worse can Satan or Hell really be?

Chris has random thoughts mid conversations (9)

Completely unprovoked IM out of the blue

Chris: Ironically I was raised in a barn

Chris on A New Career

Chris: we should get into art theft

Chris: chicks dig art

Me: why don’t you make it?

Me: you’re an artist

Chris: stealing is cooler

Me: maybe

Chris: it is …totally

Me: and illegaler

Chris: legality isn’t a moral or ethical question but rules created by an opposing force because they know they can

Chris: legality is more like a philosophy than something tangible or proven

Me: while in an abstract sense, you’re right, you still live in this society and choose to live within it’s rulesets

Chris: I don’t believe in legality

Me: and yet it affects you

Chris: for now

Chris: things can change

Me: it’s kind of like god in that sense

Chris: no…if push came to shove I’d go right destorying

Chris: to*

Me: destroying what?

Chris: so would a lot of people…hence the Revolutionary war

Chris: whatver I have to

Chris: gotta go

Me: later dude

Chris on Being Posessed

Chris: I want to be possessed

Chris: hopefully by an ancient sea creature

Chris: I would be able to move my arms with gumbi like precision

Chris: I will be able to sink vessels

Chris: people will never feel safe in the sea

Chris: I will harbor the shallow waters flipping over rafts